Growing up you pick up crazy superstitions along the way and I've picked up my fair share of them. My favourite is that I shouldn't think of something I want badly or else it won't come true. These wants weren't just material, they were how I'd picture situations to be. Yes, basically me in a favourable situation. See the upside was that if I didn't want something to happen then I could think and imagine it a hundred times over and then they were bound never to happen.


So what I did then, was not allow myself to think of pleasant situations but to strategise ways out of uncomfortable situations. And trust me it work, I was and am usually prepared for the worst. But I never was prepared for pleasant things, they usually caught me off guard and then I didn't know how to respond to it. Many times when I was i looked nice i responded with a resounding "shut up!". Why? Because I was prepared for the heartache and the heartbreak only, not the elation of rising in love.

I suppose the point of this ramble is that some of us are cynics and maybe just scared of life's 'downs'. We spend a whole lot of time preparing for the bad never prepared to accept that good things happen, just because they do. Its not because we're good people, they just do. There's no reason. To try and comprehend it would be a waste of our energies.


So when I go to bed tonight I'm going to go to sleep thinking/dreaming of something good that's going to happen to me tomorrow I'm not going to worry about tomorrow cause I've just spent too much of my life doing that already.